I know this game is getting tired and old now. Most people were saying that a few months after the game was released, but I suck ass at this sort of game, okay?!
With help, I’ve just reached the second island, and the novelty of making the black man stupidly fat and giving him a pink mowhawk is finally starting to wear off..

I have a few problems with this game, there are no children for one thing. So okay, they are telling us it’s bad and wrong and horrible to kill children, but it’s quite allright to beat the shit out of hookers?

Putting my self righteous side away, this game is fun. As with many violent games, there was outcry by parents and government alike screaming ‘This game will corrupt our children!!’
It must be great to be able to blame a computer game for your own failures as a parent.

If your children think that the real life and a computer screen and console with a big ‘OFF’ button are the same, and when they inflict extreme violence on members of the public, instead of blaming a computer game, perhaps you, and your children , should move into a small, dark, locked room well stocked with sharp weaponry but no electricity, and you can truly find out whether the game tells them to kill.

Having said that though, after playing this game for the first time, after half an hour I had to take a break to calm down and thus spent time running round the house yelling
‘Bitch bitch bitch, nigger nigger nigger!!’

I don’t think this game has a negative affect on children at all…

I’m unsure if the charecters of the three recent GTA games were made intentionally to be dislikeable, or if their bad boy image was just too frightening for one such as I raised on blue hedgehogs and shiny flying things.
It’s unfair of me to dislike the guy from GTA3, the poor bastard didn’t even speak, But Tommy Vercetti, despite being the voice of Ray Liotta (ooh!) was rather lame. Vercetti had the tendency to walk up to food servers in the Mall and simply demand ‘Food, now.’.
Having had the bitter experience of working in a junk food place, my method of dealing with shitbags who thought that because they were buying food from a fucking shithole rather than working in it they were gods favoured and that they could treat the workers like crap, was to simply ignore them, untill they either said ‘please’ or left.

CJ isnt rude, but he has a long list of Retarded things he says, such as screaming out his name when killing people, to calling people blind when he runs over them, I can safely say.. wanker.

However, it’s much more fun if the character you’re playing is one you don’t happen to like. I get hysterical in Tekken because when I’m losing it’s my Bryan Fury they’re beating up. Mine!!
Whereas, in this game, it’s rather entertaining to take CJ skydiving…Minus parachute.
Or let him drown. Or be lightly toasted by the violent acts of his own flamethrower, or be trampled to death by a bunch of pissed off prostitues, or..

One thing in the Game brought home painfully just the level of my extreme geeky slobbishness.
The Gyms. The Martial Arts centres. The salad options at Cluckin’ bell..
These things all feel so rewarding. My tubby little black man lost four units of fat and gained some muscle after a few minutes on the excersize bike, and I felt as proud as if I’d got off my fat ass for once, taken the piles of junk off of my excersize bike, and attacked the blubber that’s trying to drown me.
I’m not quite sure what it is, but there’s something very odd about a game that lets you eat, gain weight, lose weight, excersize or become a complete slob, and tells you curtly if you’re getting too fat.

I don’t like games like this. I like Tekken and fast car games. I do not like Aggressive black man games. So I don’t understand why I’m so drawn to this game or why the hell I’ve been playing it for over a year. Even Vandire plays this game occiaisonally, and he likes games like Final Fantasy and Guild wars.
Taking a moment here, Vandire played Final Fantasy X2. All the way through. Let us laugh.

Back on topic, I love the idea of roaming around a City from the safety of my own beanbag. When GTA becomes a MMORPG in similar style to Guild Wars or whatnot with Cities so big and exciting they’re almost the size of real life,and Tekken style fighting arenas,with a function to create your own character, I shall have extensive surgery to embed myself within a computer system. I will owneth you all.